I have come across a lot of folks with whom I find it useless to hold any healthy discussions. The quest to win over an argument is so strong that they start reminding me of Adolf Hitler! What they don’t realize is at the end of it they might have won over the argument but they would definitely have left the relationship wounded if not hurt. I am still trying to understand the psychology behind this quest and also trying to learn the art of dealing with them.They for sure know that to win an argument one needs to always have ammunitions before firing, Yes they can be very well informed but what they fail to know is that everyone is entitled to possess their own set of opinions. And no 2 opinion can be graded on a scale of supremacy. One must learn to honor others ideas and thoughts with an open mind as you never know, others opinion might just teach you a lesson on life. I assume such folks must be having a difficult time at work as well. For how long after all can you face a person who is self obsessed with his own ideas?
I presume it needs a lot of practice and patience along with unconditional love and compassion to keep a non reflecting skin and to be un-attackable. That probably might help the person burn off all their negative energy. What I try to practice is whenever you get attacked by someone wanting to provoke an argument, Simply see it as a cry for help. Empathize with that person for you might prove to be his savior. Know that it is futile to even waste your precious energy in trying to convince. Truly as my hubby always puts it across - "Shanti mei hi safalta hai" - In quietness lies the success
5 comments:
Yes,
One must not argue in any situations, when victory can be ascertained by negotiations... then y argue...
well bloggedd...must say
Well rightly said. In my opinion there are 2 kind of discussions you could have with someone. Healthy ones and the "you talk bull shit.I am the one with the right perspective" ones.Obviously the first one is recommended and you can only have mature discussions with mature individuals. On the other hand there are people who are actually on the look out for the second kind of discussions. They infact seem to derive some kind of saddist pleasure in arguing continuously against something, even if the whole world believes they are wrong. Such people need help, and they need to first throw that ego away. Infact the bottomline is ultimately the "ego". Its the ego that talks not the individual.Control the ego and you control your mind and your life as well !
Yes,, agreed here tooo. One can opt for a healthy "Discussion" where peceptions are just shared yet not judged or opinionated. There is no urge to prove tht - "X" is right, and not you... When there is a room for healthy discussion - mark it ; there is room more betterment, improvisation and genuineness.. and there is a possibility of "CHANGE" - CHange for the better .. :)
Wisdom begins with "Silence". Arguments that dont help anyone are meant to be ignored. If one can follow that, i think he/she would be a happy person. I remember the discussion that we had with another person that went upto the boiling point.. by the way.. the guy dancing there is doing a good job.. :)
Well said. I also find that those who are most adamant about their own opinions are also quick to blame/ridicule/make personal attacks the other for not having an open mind! I'm learning how to keep quiet when faced with opposing views with such people. Attempting a healthy discussion with them is pointless!
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